Lament of a Rude Worthless Kid

I guess it's all too late
The clock ticked so slow
The moment's gone too fast
I'm left wondering
Where I had been All this time

The bed calls, I must answer
Like I had answered before
I guess I answer too much
I guess I should have just said no

I wonder how red my blood is
I wonder how much pain it will cause
I wonder if it will be pleasurable
I wonder if it will be good

Someone told me
There's always hope; Liar
I wish there was
I wish there is
I wish

The clock ticks so much slower
Now that I have nothing to do
I am falling
Deeper and deeper
Into a tunnel of darkness
Which I myself have dug

Forgive me, or who I was
I am just not ready to live this life
I would rather be dead than not be alive
It should have been easier

The blue is now turned to stone
And once again my pockets are empty
Once again I am miserable
Like I was before

Or did I ever become otherwise?

I guess I should have known
I guess I should have listened
I guess I should have worked
I guess I should have given

I can hear the laughter of my enemies
Their prayers have been answered
I was smitten by the hand of their God
Mine is all I have

I'm afraid
Does it not show?
I guess I hide to well
Everyone tells me so

I wish the heart would stop beating
I wish the mind would stop thinking
I wish the world would just listen
I wish the I would just not

I think I'll have another smoke.