Electric Itlog

An archive of what was and what will be...

Saturday, November 03, 2007


Gelo started snapping his fingers impatiently, as if trying to make a tune to break the silence that surrounded him. The sun was slowly hiding from his view, and he saw that people were already packing up their things, saying their last prayers and leaving the cemetery. He looked at his watch. Quarter to six.

Where is he? Gelo thought to himself as he seated himself at the foot of the tall white angelic figure overlooking a majestic tomb owned by a family he knew nothing of. He took a deep breath and crossed his hands. He closed his eyes as if listening for something. He heared the slamming of a car door from a distance. He's here.

Gelo opened his eyes and looked to his left, where the sight of a mahogany tree greeted him. At the side of this aging tree was a man, dressed in a green polo shirt, straight cut denim pants and an old pair of red chucks. His face was well-defined, his hair styled to look unstyled. He was holding nothing except for a single white rose on his left hand.

But Gelo didn't pay attention to what the guy was wearing or what he was holding. What Gelo noticed the most was the man's brown eyes—which had that empowering sense that captured him five years ago when he first met him, walking towards the bench he was sitting on. And in that moment, as the man slowly walked over to were he stood, Gelo knew that this was the man he was waiting for.

"I didn't expect you'd come."

"Don't lie." Brian answered as he approached him. "You always say you didn't expect something, yet you always hope it will still happen."

Gelo smiled. He knew Brian knows too much about him. He also remembered that Brian had beaten him twice in separate Debate Competitions during their senior college year. He would rather be silent than face the agony of defeat once more.

"How's tita? I've heard she got sick." Gelo asked as Brian drew nearer. "I hope she's doing well."

"Just a minor cold." Brian replied, almost automatically, as he sat down beside Gelo. "She's doing fine."

"That's good." said Gelo. "I was really worried when I heard, I thought it was something serious. And how about your sister? Did she pass the Bar Exam?"

"No results yet. But I think she will." Brian answered sparsely.

Gelo knew that something was bothering Brian, who was normally more outspoken. He starred at him and saw the contours of his face. He knew of the story of every line, every speck and every small detail. This wasn't unchartered territory for him. Everything has been revealed before during those mornings when he woke up with him at his side.

But Brian wasn't looking at Gelo, nor was he examining his face. He was starring at the horizon, observing how the silhouettes of the tree atop the distant hill overlooking the cemetery were playing tricks on his eyes, with the help of the light of the setting sun. The orange flares made the swinging branches dance with life, as if enchanted by some strange form of magic.

"What's bothering you?" Gelo asked.

Brian looked away from the dancing tree as silence was broken. He bowed his head and took a deep breath.

"Tell me." Gelo demanded almost silently.

An eerie silence hung around the now darkening cemetery. Brian looked up. He faced Gelo and looked straight at his eyes.

"I found somebody new." Brian revealed.

Gelo smiled weakly and looked away. A sudden feeling of dread and vindication flooded him. Slowly, the memories of him and Brian passed through his eyes, like memories pass through the eyes of those standing between the lines of life and death.

"I know." Gelo replied in a faint yet confirming voice.


Brian stood up and walked slowly towards big tomb before them. There was a faint light coming from the candles left burning inside by visitors now gone. He could smell the burning wax and feel the slight heat lingering in the air. He clenched his fists and remembered the single rose he brought. For a moment, he thought he had been pricked by a thorn. But there was no blood or any wound.

Gelo didn't stand nor stir. He sat there motionless, trying hard not to cry, but finding it harder to let out a tear at the same time. The news wasn't startling. After all, he knew for some time now about Brian's new love. But Gelo found it impossible to speak any works to break the invisible wall now dividing them.

Brian held out his watch towards the yellow glow. Ten minutes past seven.

"It's getting late." Brian said. "I think I should get going."

Gelo stood up. He hesitated for a moment, but suddenly found the words he wanted to blurt out.

"Do you still remember our first kiss?"

Brian turned around. In his mind, the moment which Gelo sought to remember replayed and he remembered every sound and every color; every scent and every movement were now repeated in his mind. The memory flooded his senses, and once again he was at that old Italian restaurant where their lips first met five years ago, underneath the light of a full moon.

"No." Brian replied coldly.

Gelo could do nothing but smile. He was looking down, afraid to show Brian the tears that are now slowly pouring from his eyes. He let out a small sob, but took out his faded white handkerchief and wiped this eyes dry. He sat down.

"What happened to us?" Gelo asked Brian, who now stood silently before him. "What happened to everything we were?"

Brian couldn't find the words to answer the question. He wanted to spout out reasons and explanations, but he knew that it wasn't the right time for philosophical blabberings.

"I guess," Brian slowly whispered, "I guess some things just need to end."

Gelo didn't move. Nor did Brian. The air was thick and the silence was almost unbearable. From the distance, they could hear the last set of people walk out of the cemetery. They were all alone now.


"Angelo.." Brian finally whispered.

Gelo looked up. He always loved the way Brian called out his full name, and it always made him feel all tingly inside when he heard him pronounce each sound. It was like his name was being discovered for the first time, like a new word being produced out of thin air. It was magical and it was special.

But this time there was no magic.

"It's been two years." Brian continued. "Two years emptiness. Two years of nothing. I think I've suffered long enough. I think it's time for me.. for us.. to move on.."

"I guess I was always right with my guesses." Gelo responded without looking at Brian. "I guess I should have known that this time will come, sooner or later. Or maybe, I already knew that it would end up this way. I have always expected it.. but maybe I didn't hope for it."

The silence and darkness merged, and the cemetery was now almost emptied from both sound and light. The two men now glowed faintly of gold, lit by the candles that dotted the tombs scattered around them. No words were spoken. No movements were made. Only breath can be heard. Slow and faint breathing.

"It's weird when you look at it." Gelo said in an amused tone. "It's ironic that we are finally letting go and we're doing it in a cemetery. We can't do it like normal people do. We can't do it on the phone. We can't do it in public. It has to be secret and hidden. It's like we're burying our past and leaving it behind, never speaking of it again."

Brian didn't answer. He walked over to were Gelo was sitting and lifted his arm, extending the rose to Gelo, who still sat upon the foot of the tall angelic work of art. Gelo lifted his head and saw the beautiful flower, bathing in the light of the distant candles, glowing faintly. He took it and he examined it in the way he examined Brian's face. Its beauty was not fit for such a moment and it felt as though it was mocking him.

Brian turned around and started walking. "I'm leaving."

Gelo stood up, still trying not to look at Brian.

"Did when did you learn that you didn't love me anymore?"

Brian stopped. For a moment he stood there motionless.


"Blue." Brian whispered.

"What?" Gelo said, unable to understand the meaning of what Brian said.

"You were wearing a blue shirt on the night of our first kiss." Brian replied as he turned around. "I remember your white cordoroy pants, your light brown sneakers, your Hugo Boss perfume. I remember the way your hair bounced a little while we walked along the patio of that old Italian restaurant you always loved to check out. I remember the chicken scarpariello you ordered and the casata we shared. I remember the Fontodi Chianti you told me to order. I remember the violins that played as we were walking out. I remember us gazing at the full moon and how you said that you never saw the moon that big before enthroned around the majesty of stars. And most of all, I remember the heat of your lips as it touched mine. I remember the moment when I knew I really loved you."

A tear came rolling down Gelo's cheeks as he listened to Brian's words. He looked at the man before him and he smiled.

"So that's how it was." Gelo said, more tears now rolling from his eyes.

"And honestly, I don't know when I learned that I no longer love you." Brian told the man before him.

"Because I never stopped loving you."

Gelo's smile widened as more tears began falling.

Brian could not say anything else. He smiled and turned his back and started heading to the parking lot. And as he watched him disappear into the distance, Gelo let out a faint sigh. He felt relieved in some way, as though he has somehow moved on. And as he heard Brian's car slowly drive out of the cemetery, he smiled, and he felt the special tingle he had always yearned to feel again since he died two years back.

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At 7:00 PM , Blogger poor java boy said...

"because i never stopped loving you"

gahd. you're emo.

At 4:37 AM , Anonymous Reyville of Simply Manila said...

That was so right, Poor Java Boy. This all but EMO. But I felt my balls were electrified. LOVING, MOVING ON ... Nanghina ako dun ha.

At 11:35 PM , Blogger MISTERHUBS said...


At 2:21 PM , Blogger the nomad said...

aww. this story pricked me like the thorn on that beautiful rose Brian was giving to Gelo.

how melancholic. ='(

At 6:05 PM , Blogger ABURUY said...

heyheyhey. changed my url. hehe.


At 12:36 PM , Blogger dazedblu* said...

Hi there droppin' this is nice blog..

The entry is pretty much long but I used to read it, mayube I agree with "poor jaya boy" that yer emo here ;)

At 6:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow! drenched and longing for more...you should write a novel or this could be turned into an indie short for youtube...please!


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